Gloomy Sunday

It was a dark, gloomy Sunday, the sound of pelting raindrops on the roof echoed in the four walls of her room. Thunder. Lightning. The torrent of rain continued on as she lay awake in her bed.

She stared blankly at the canopy of her double-decked bed. Her mind wandered off to the events of the weeks past. Months. Years. She had always been the headstrong type, never the one to falter and break down when challenges arise. Luck always seems to be at her favor. But now, it seemed otherwise.

She thought back to the day she decided to leave. Many would think it unwise, unpractical, but for her, it was the best decision she has ever made, second to the time she decided to chase after her lifelong dream. Her dreams consumed her. She was determined to be the best that she can be. The passion and the determination were burning inside her for a while. For a while.

She could have handled it well. She was strong. But that was that. Was. Now, the only thing she ever needed was someone to hold on to, someone to talk to, someone to lift her up when she is feeling weak, someone to be there for her in her time of deep despair. This was out of character for her, for she never was the type to rely on people. She was independent. She could live by herself.

But humans are humans. We err. We have free will. We are our own person.

She is selfish, yes. When you're in a place where nothing seems to go out right, you would think more of yourself, your security, your life.

She blinked. The rain had stopped. The night was still. She sat up from her bed. Her eyes were brimming with tears, brimming with a new-found determination.

Tonight, she will be unselfish. Tonight, she will spare the world from her negativity. Tonight, she has decided.

She stood up, walked to her dresser, took the bottle, then went back to bed. She gulped. Large gulps.

She stared back at the ceiling, thinking of tomorrow.

Thinking of the morning that she will never see again.


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